The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
by Isis123
Summary: Summary: The Berry family faces a tragedy. Will the Glee club be there for one of their own?   Plot has been done before; I know
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Even if I did I would never publically take credit for season 3 – it's a mess (and not in the fun Christian Siriano way).

Summary: The Berry family faces a tragedy. Will the Glee club be there for one of their own? Set season 2 post Finchel breakup (because I can't stand them together!)

A/N: Sorry for starting a new story while I still have 2 pending. That's terribly unprofessional! I know, I hang my head in shame.

Xxxxxxxxx

An accident. It's described as an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally. It's as simple as being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Rachel hates that word. She's in a hospital waiting room because of an accident. An unexpected, unfortunate incident. An unexpected, unfortunate incident is why her fathers are in surgery fighting for their lives. The two men who mean the world to her may die all because of a stupid accident.

It doesn't seem right. Something so terrible, so significant needs to have a reason. There needs to be a why, a purposeful why. A stronger word than just accident. Happenstance can't be the reason her world's crashing down around her.

"Hiram Berry?" Rachel's head shoots up. It's the doctor, or at rather a doctor, one of the many working on saving her fathers' lives. She stands. A shaky yes escapes her lips.

"Is my dad OK?" The doctor takes her hand as he sits down; Rachel follows. She doesn't like how long it takes for this man to speak. She doesn't like the pity in his eyes or the fact that he's still holding her hand.

"Is my dad OK?" she prompts again, her voice louder. The doctor takes a breath. He looks young and uncomfortable.

"Ms. Berry, I'm doctor Roberts, I'm one of the doctors who worked on your father Hiram." When he says this Rachel's mind starts to run away from her. _Worked? As in past tense? Does that mean Dad is in recovery? Is he dead? What does "worked" mean? _

"What does that mean?" She finally asks out loud as she draws her hand out of his grasp. Dr. Roberts takes another deep breath.

"Ms. Berry, I'm sorry but-" Her head is shaking side to side franticly.

"No."

He keeps going, "Your father sustained severe trauma to the head. We tried to relieve the pressure by removing a portion of his skull, but the swelling increased too rapidly to be alleviated. As of now, there's no sign brain activity."

"But his heart's still beating? He's still alive?" She thinks there still may be some hope; it break's Dr. Robert's heart.

"Ms. Berry, I'm sorry, but your father is brain dead. There's no chance that he will regain consciousness. He's in a permanent vegetative state."

She wants to wake up. Her dad cannot be brain dead. He can't be because she saw him this afternoon. He was fine. He was happy. He was alive. As Rachel's brain refuses to process what she has just heard, Dr. Roberts takes it as a cue to continue.

"I know this is difficult-" _No you don't _"-but I need to ask you some questions concerning your father's wishes?"

"Wishes?"

"Yes, his desire to donate his organs. According to his driver's license he's a registered donor, but familial permission is still required and with your other father still in surgery, that decision falls on you." He hates his job sometimes.

"You want me to let you take me dad's organs?" He really hates it.

"His organs could save a lot of lives Ms. Berry." Instead of acknowledging his request immediately she asks, "Can I see him? My dad, Hiram Berry. Can I see him?" From the look on Dr. Roberts' face, she's sure that this isn't the first time he's heard the request from a donor's family member.

"You can…you can have his organs; he'd want to help as many people as he could. My dad is a good person." She thinks it's important that this stranger know that, that this doctor understand what a great man her dad is.

"He'd want you to have his organs. I just want to say goodbye first. I'll sign whatever you need me to sign, I just want to say goodbye. Please."

He agrees and lets her know that he'll come get her once her father has been moved from the OR. Dr. Roberts stands to leave, but stops when Rachel's hand shoots out and grabs his scrub top.

"Wait! My daddy? How's my daddy?" She feels like the worst daughter in the world for almost forgetting to ask about him.

"I'm not sure, but I know doctors are still operating on him." When Dr. Roberts sees the desperate look in her eyes, he knows he has to give her something more. He's just given her the worst news of her life; he owes her something more.

"From what I understand, the driver's side sustained the worst of the impact. Your father Leroy was sitting on the passenger's side; and, the fact that the doctors are still working means he's still fighting. That's a good sign. I'll make sure someone updates you as soon as possible."

Xxxxxx

He's very still. She doesn't understand how a person can be so still, especially her dad. He's the type of person that dances while they vacuum and gestures while they speak. There's bruising and scraping all along the side of his face. The doctors stitched his head back up, but she can see the where they cracked open his skull. She wants to vomit. She wants her dad to open his eyes.

She positions herself close to his side so that she can takes his hand and links their fingers. Before she opens her mouth to say goodbye, she tries her best to reign in her tears. She takes a few steadying breathes before she starts.

"I'm so sorry, Dad. I…" Her voice cracks, "I love you so much. I…I don't know how to say goodbye. You're not suppose to go away yet. You're suppose to be here with me and daddy."

"I don't want to say goodbye. I…I…" She has to stop for a moment in order to choke back her tears.

"Thank you for everything. You always made me feel like I was special, like I could do anything."

She has to stop again because some tears managed to escape. She takes another breath and violently wipes the streaks off her face with her free hand.

"You were the best dad in the world," she says sincerely. "You don't have to worry, OK? Daddy and I are going to be OK. I promise. You raised me to be a good person. A star. I won't let you down, Dad."

The hardest part is getting out the song he use to sing to her as a child.

_Come with me my love_

_To the sea_

_The sea of love_

_I want to tell you_

_How much I love you_

She knows she's butchering the song, her throat is too tight with emotion to get much sound out, which upsets her because her dad deserves the best and she's making a mess of one of his favorite's, but she keeps going.

_Do you remember_

_When we met?_

_That's the day I knew you were my pair_

_I want to tell you_

_How much I love you_

The melody is all but lost now; still she's determined to finish this.

_Come with me my love_

_To the sea _

_The sea of love_

_I want to tell you_

_How much I love you_

Once the song is over she leans down and brings their intertwined hands up to her lips and kisses his. Afterwards, she gently places his hand down on the gurney. She stands and moves to the head of his hospital bed.

"I love you so much, Dad." With that she leans down and gives him one final kiss goodbye.

Xxxxxxxxx

The song is Sea of Love and it's by Phil Phillips.


	2. Chapter 2

True to his word, Dr. Roberts made sure Rachel was updated on Leroy's condition as soon as his doctors were able. Dr. Jennifer Reeves, a fifth year resident, who still didn't look old enough to drink, answered all of her questions and was very honest about the severity of her father's injuries. Dr. Reeves told Rachel that her father had sustained significant trauma to the chest and abdomen. The crash had caused a tear in his aorta and while doctors were repairing the damage to his heart his spleen ruptured, causing blood to fill his abdominal cavity. The stress on his body had caused his heart stopped twice, but doctors were able to revive him. He was now recovering in the ICU, but doctors could only speculate when (or if) he would wake up.

Seeing the hope drain out of Rachel's eyes, Jennifer took Rachel's hand in hers in an attempt to comfort the girl, "Rachel, I can't imagine how horrible you must feel right now, but your father fought hard on that operating table and he's still fighting. You have to have faith that he's going to get through this." Rachel just nodded her head dejectedly.

With her hand still locked with Rachel's, Dr. Reeves looked around the empty waiting room and then back at the devastated teen, "Rachel, is there anyone we can call? A family member?"

"It's just me and my dads," Rachel responded. Immediately realizing her mistake, she corrected herself, "I mean Daddy. Just me and Daddy now." Jennifer knew Rachel needed to get away from all this wreckage so she persisted, "How about a friend? An emergency contact?"

Xxxxxxxxx

At 3:48 in the morning a loud ring roused the sole occupant in the mismatched queen size bed

"Hello?" a scratchy and weary male voice answered.

"Hello, this is Dr. Reeve from Lima General, I'm calling for Will Schuester." The mention of the hospital made Will a little more alert.

"This is Will Schuester, is everything all right?"

"Mr. Schuester, I'm sorry to call you so late, but one of your students, Rachel Berry-"

"Rachel? Is she OK? What happened?" Now the McKinley High teacher was fully awake.

"Rachel's fine, but I'm afraid her fathers were in a car accident earlier this evening. Her father Leroy Berry was just moved to the Intensive Care Unit and Hiram Berry was pronounced brain dead two hours ago."

"Jesus."

"Rachel gave me your number. She says she has no family in the area. Would it be possible if-" Not needing to hear anything else, Will interrupted the doctor and told her he'd be at the hospital in ten minutes.

Xxxxxxxxx

When the sliding glass doors opened to the waiting room, Will Schuester immediately spotted his student sitting by the wall with her knees drawn up to her chest and he quickly made his way over to her. When Rachel saw her teacher she began to ramble at full speed.

"I'm sorry they called you, Mr. Schuester. They kept asking if there was someone. I tried to tell them no, but they kept asking and I didn't know who to call." She was talking so fast that Will couldn't get a word in edgewise.

"My emergency contacts are my dads. I just didn't know who else to call. I'm sorry I woke you up."

Eventually the Glee director was able to interject, "Rachel, Rachel, it's OK. I'm glad you called." The two took their seats and sat in silence. Finally, Rachel spoke again, but her voice sounded as if her mind was far away.

"They were coming back from dinner. Fridays are date nights."

"I'm so sorry, Rachel."

She kept going as if she hadn't heard him, "They're going to take his organs soon. His heart still beating, but he's brain dead. Dad's a donor. It's what he wanted. I said goodbye, but I don't think he heard me because he's brain dead. I don't think he heard my goodbye."

"Rachel, Dr. Reeve told me that your other dad just got out of surgery. I'm going to take you home, OK? I'll bring you right back once you've gotten some sleep, all right?"

She didn't put up a fight.

Xxxxxxxxx

"_Hey, Star. Just calling to let you know Daddy and I will be be home late, John Silvio's has a new karaoke machine and your daddy's taken it hostage. He's making an absolute fool of himself! The song Roxanne will never be the same again._

"_Don't listen to him, Rach, I was flawless!"_

"_Flawless? You were so off key the lobsters were jumping into the pots." _

"_You're just jealous."_

"_Well I have at least 7 videos on my phone so we'll just have to let her judge for herself. Anyways, don't study too hard. There's always time for a Barbra-break! We love you!" _

She doesn't know if the universe is being cruel or offering her some sort of condolence. She doesn't know whether or not she's devastated that she missed her last opportunity to speak to her father because she left her phone on silent or if she's lucky that she has him on record; either way she replays the message over and over as Mr. Schuester drives through the streets of Lima. She focuses on the sound of her dad's voice, its lightness and the way that his Chicago accent, despite twenty-six years in Ohio, is still noticeable when he says "pots." And she listens to his laugh, he always laughs at his own jokes.

"_My jokes are funny! Someone's gotta laugh at them."_

"Rachel?" Mr. Schuester's voice breaks through her thoughts, "Rachel, we're here."

Xxxxxxxxx

By 11 AM on Saturday the Puckerman household was slowly coming alive. Dinah Puckerman and her son Noah were in the kitchen staring as the coffee pot slowly filled with Folger's when the phone range.

"Dinah Puckerman."

"Hi, Ms. Puckerman, this is Will Schuester, I'm one of Puck's, Noah's teachers. We met last year during Parent-Teacher night."

"Yes, Mr. Schuester, Spanish. I remember. How can I help you? Noah's not in any trouble is he." She puts her hand over the receiver and glares at her sons, mouthing, "What did you do?" Puck tries to think of everything he did during the school week, but for the life of him he can't think of anything he'd done that was bad enough to warrant a call from a teacher on a Saturday, so he just shrugs his shoulders and goes back to pouring milk over his cereal.

"No, Puck hasn't done anything. I'm actually calling for another student. Do you know Rachel Berry?"

"Oh Rachel," Ms. Puckerman gushes, causing Puck to stop his trek to the living room couch, "Wonderful girl. Such a sweetheart. I see her at the JCC all the time. How is she?"

"Ms. Pucker-"

"Call me Dinah."

"Dinah, Rachel's fathers were in a car accident last night. Hiram was killed." Puck sees the color drain out of his mother's face. He wants to know what's going on.

"Oh my God," Dinah utters.

"Leroy survived, but he hasn't woken up yet," Mr. Schuester explains mournfully.

"How's Rachel?"

"I don't know," he replies truthfully. Dinah can tell he's exhausted.

"She hasn't said much. I'm sorry to call you, but the hospital is asking her about funeral arrangements and she doesn't know whom to contact. She said you might know."

Without hesitation, Puck's mother lets him know that she'll call Rabbi Lowenstein. "I'll do what ever I can. Where are you right now?"

"I'm at the hospital with her." Dinah's a nurse at Lima General. She was looking forward to enjoying her long awaited rare weekend off, a plan that is now long forgotten.

"What room."

"714." She knows immediately what ward that is.

"ICU. Linda should be on duty today. Linda Lewis. She's a nurse. If you need anything, just ask her. I'll be there as soon as I can." With that she hangs up and throws he breakfast in the garbage.

"What happened? Whose in the ICU?" Her son asks.

"Rachel's father."

"What?"

"They were in an accident last night."

"Is Rachel OK?" Puck's heat is pounding.

"She wasn't in the car, but her father - you remember Hiram – he didn't make it."

"Shit."

"Get dressed. Tell Hannah we're leaving in 10 minutes."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Leroy Berry had still not regained consciousness by the time Hiram Berry's body was taken into surgery. Rachel had asked the doctors to wait as long as possible in order to give her daddy a chance to say goodbye, but on Tuesday morning Dr. Reeve came into room 714 and told Rachel that there was a patient in the hospital who was a match for her dad's heart and that young man needed the organ as soon as possible. Reluctantly, Rachel agreed that the team could initiate the process.

Five lives were saved because of Hiram Berry's decision to donate. A medical evaluation determined that the loving husband and father had four organs that were healthy enough to transplant: his heart, both kidneys, and his liver, which was divided to save two people, a little girl in Cincinnati and a twenty year old in Toledo.

Robert "Bobby" Ford, a fifteen year old who's passion for snowboarding had been put on hold due to a diagnosis of restrictive cardiomyopathy was laying on a hospital bed on Tuesday morning when his mother came into the room with tear in her eyes. Ever since his diagnosis, Bobby had seen his mother cry – a lot – but today there was something different about her tears, they were accompanied with a smile.

"They found a heart. You're getting a heart." Bobby almost broke down right there. He had convinced himself that he was going to die young, trapped in a weak body that he no longer recognized, but now his mother was telling him he was getting a second chance. He was getting his life back. Bobby didn't know it, but out of all the organs that Hiram Berry gave up that day, his heart was the one Rachel cared about the most. It was indescribably painful for her to think that the steady, strong rhythm she use to hear when she pressed her ear to her dad's chest would now beat for someone else.

While five families celebrated, one seventeen year old grieved.

Xxxxxxx

Leroy Berry woke up on Wednesday afternoon. He was devastated when Rachel told him about his husband and even more upset when the doctors told him that he would not be able to attend the funeral the following day.

"I'm going to his funeral." Dr. Reeve was sympathetic, but the fact was that her patient had just undergone major surgery, a surgery where he had coded twice. Too much activity was not safe; his body needed to rest and recover.

"Mr. Berry, your body isn't healt-"

"You're not hearing me," Leroy interrupted the surgeon, "I. Am. Going. To. My. Husband's. Funeral."

"Daddy," Rachel tried to soothe him, but despite his daughter's best efforts, Leroy refused to yield.

"He's my husband, my everything. I need to be there," the injured man stated, "you do what you have to do, doctor, but tomorrow morning I will be at the synagogue with or without your permission."

Xxxxxxx

Leroy and Rachel sat shiva for seven days. Rachel spent her days either at home or at the hospital.

Despite everything Rachel had been taught about shiva, she really wished some of the visitors would try to distract her with idle chitchat. She hated having to focus so intensely on the fact that her dad was dead. She was well aware of that fact. She'd be well aware of it everyday for the rest of her life.

Dinah Puckerman had gone above and beyond to help the Berrys. She had dealt with the rabbi, handled the finances for Leroy, and prepared the Berry household for the steady stream of visitors. Puck followed his mother's example in his own way. He could tell that Rachel wanted a diversion, just a few hours to think of something besides death, so he arranged for all the Glee kids to come over on Saturday.

"Her dad just died. She's miserable. Don't be weird around her. Just be normal, talk about school, glee, whatever, just take her mind off shit," he had told the Gleeks on Friday.

After Puck, the first ones to show up on Saturday were Kurt and Mercedes. They had seen her at the funeral, but she looked about a hundred times worse. Rather than saying anything, the two just hugged her. A few tears leaked out of Kurt's eyes but he quickly wiped them with the back of his hand and put a smile on his face and lifted the large brown bag in his hands.

"Puck told us you've been living off carrots and oatmeal," Kurt explained, "apparently no one in Lima knows how to make a vegan casserole."

This was partially true. Yes, out of the seemingly endless supply of casseroles and pies her fathers' friends had brought her, not one had been vegan, but, even if they had, Rachel wouldn't have been able to bring herself to eat any of it. In all honesty, the vegan thing hadn't even crossed her mind; the only reason she had been consuming anything at all was because Ms. Puckerman made sure she put something in her stomach everyday. The carrots and oatmeal just happened to be the only things in her kitchen that she could keep down.

"It's basically the entire vegetarian section of Thai Garden," Mercedes said when Rachel's eyes widen as she produced a second brown bag, even larger than the first.

"Thank you," Rachel said sincerely, a genuine smile appearing on her face. Puck snatched the takeout out of their hands.

"I'll take those. You guys go chill in the basement." As the three made their way down the stairs, Puck went to the kitchen and tried to find some room for the additional food. In the end he decided to sacrifice the tuna and cheese casserole, mainly because it wasn't a sacrifice at all, the thing was gross. When he got downstairs he heard Mercedes and Kurt talking about what both the New Directions and the Warblers were planning for Regionals.

More and more Gleeks tricked in and by three o' clock the whole team was there (more casseroles were sacrificed). Rachel didn't say much for most of the visit, but she was grateful that everyone was here and that they were giving her something to think about, she even let out a few soft laughs. Everything was going well when Rachel suddenly started to cry. All the chatter ceased instantly, the only sounds that could be heard were the whimpers and sniffles coming from the petite brunette on the couch.

"I….I'm sorry," she wept, "excuse me." All eyes followed as she ran up the stairs.

"Stay here," Puck ordered everyone, "I'll check on her."

Awkwardness settled over the room. Everyone was uncomfortable, not sure what they should do or say.

"Have any of you heard anything about her dad?" Finn asked, "I mean the other one, the one who's alive?"

They shook their heads.

"I think he's being released next week," Santana offered.

"Who told you that?" Quinn asked.

"My dad," the cheerleader replied, "I asked if he knew anything about the accident and he told me that his patient was getting a heart because of it." The other teens looked at her surprised. Santana hadn't mentioned any of this earlier at school.

"Who got it?" Mike finally asked the question on everyone's mind.

"Some kid name Robert. I think he's a frosh, but he had to drop out because he got sick." While the other kids let the information sink in, Brittany smiled.

"We should tell Rachel!" the blonde suggested, "so she can hear her dad's heart beat." They all knew Brittany didn't mean any harm, if it wasn't so tragic it would really be a sweet suggestion, but they decided they better make sure she didn't offer up the idea whenever Puck managed to get Rachel to come back downstairs.

"I don't know how much Rachel would like that, Brit," Santana said gently, "lets not say anything right now though, OK?" Brittany sensed that she had done something wrong and that Santana was trying to be nice about it so she nodded and then changed the subject to Lord Tubbington's lactose intolerance.

Upstairs Puck was sitting quietly outside the locked bathroom door. He could hear Rachel trying to regain her composure, but a few rouge snivels managed to get out. Ten minutes later the door finally opened and Rachel emerged with a red nose and puffy eyes.

"I'm sorry for running out like that," she apologized.

"Hey, hey, hey. You don't need to apologize for that; the gleeks just want to be here for you."

She nodded and then hesitantly asked him if he could ask them to leave, "I'm so thankful that they came, I just…I'm just tired."

"No problem. How 'bout you go up to your room. I'll let them know."

"Thank you, Noah."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Getting back into her routine proves to be difficult. Rachel thinks it's strange. Yes, her father died but, in all honesty, her dad wasn't crucial to her routine. Usually, she wakes up, has her flax shake, works out, showers, gets dressed, goes down stairs, kisses her parents goodbye, and goes to school. That's the morning schedule. Then there's school and depending on the day it's followed by either glee or dance. Afterwards, she goes home, does some homework, if she has dance she showers if not then she gets to decide what take out the Berry clan will be feasting on. Her fathers usually arrive home by seven and she usually gives them a kiss goodnight at ten sharp.

So really, it's just a couple of steps that have to be altered: One kiss goodbye and goodnight instead of two, ordering a bit less takeout, and that's it. But, those two steps ripple throughout the rest, disturbing everything from her awakening to her slumber; everything has changed. Now Rachel wakes up and she can't bring herself to get on her treadmill (despite this lack of exercise, she's lost a lot of weight since her dad's passing since she can't bring herself to eat much either). Now before she goes downstairs to give her daddy a kiss she has to psyche herself up and make sure not to cry because she doesn't want him to feel any worse than he already does – he's been blaming himself for Hiram's death even though Rachel knows it was a complete accident. Now she has to force herself to go to glee. Sometimes she just doesn't show up. She doesn't want to sing happy-go-lucky songs with people who give her pity eyes when they think she's not looking. Now when she's home she's more likely to sit staring out her window for hours then she is to do her homework. Now, just like in the morning, she has to psyche herself up to give her daddy a goodnight kiss. She sleeps and wakes up and does it all again.

Hiram Berry has been dead for a month and a half. Regionals came and went. Rachel didn't perform since it was two weeks after Mr. Berry died and she had missed too much school and practice. Mr. Schuester tried to convince Rachel to join them, but she politely declined. It had been close, but the New Directions took home first. They were now preparing for Nationals. It was in two and a half months, so they had some time to relax. During the interim, they hoped that Rachel would heal and rejoin the living because, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, they all noticed that she was having a hard time.

Xxxxxxx

Rachel was walking to glee one afternoon – Puck had cornered her in the hall and made her promise to be there - when she ran straight into a lanky boy who looked like a young Patrick Dempsey, just a bit thinner and who appeared to be getting over an illness. The young man let out a bit of a hiss when Rachel stumbled and put her hand on his chest to steady herself.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, "I wasn't paying attention." The teen rubbed his chest and took a deep breath while nodding his head, letting her know that he heard her. Noticing his pain, Rachel asked if he was all right.

"It's cool, really," Bobby Ford said.

"Are you sure? I mean, I could walk you to the nurse?" she offered.

"Honestly, Rachel, it's cool," he replied. Her eyebrows furrowed when she heard him refer to her by name.

"I'm sorry do I know you? I mean do we have a class together?" She was skeptical because even though he was a good deal taller than her, the boy looked mighty young and she doubted that he was in any of her advanced classes.

"No. We're not, but I know who you are. I'm Bobby, by the way, Bobby Ford," he extended his hand. Rachel saw that he looked hesitant before saying his name, almost as is he was afraid of how she'd react to hearing it.

"Well, Bobby Ford, aside from running into and then possibly injuring you, it was nice to meet you, but I really must me going." Before she could go Bobby's bumbling stopped her.

"Uh…um…wait…um…I just…" Rachel looked at him expectantly, but any hope of getting an answer out of him ended when Puck found them.

"Hey, we're all waiting for you," he said to Rachel, completely ignoring the freshman, "you're still coming right?"

"Yes, Noah," she sighed, "I'm still coming. I just got a little held back." Her eyes traveled to Bobby, prompting Puck to finally notice the skinny, uncomfortable looking kid.

"Who's this jerk?"

"Noah!" She apologized for her friend's lack of manners.

"What do you want frosh?" Puck asked Bobby. Seeing that Bobby was too intimidated to speak, Rachel answered on his behalf.

"This is Bobby Ford. I accidently ran into him." Puck continued to give him a dirty look until Bobby backed away.

"Well, sorry about running into you Rachel, gotta go," and he was off.

"That wasn't very nice, Noah," the brunette scolded him.

"Whatever, looked like a creeper anyways. So glee. We're picking numbers for Nationals today." Immediately he could see her mood damper. She silently nodded her head and prepared to him, but Puck didn't move.

"You don't want to go?"

"It's not that. I just haven't felt much like singing."

"We could skip and just hang out at your place." Puck suggested. He and Kurt had tried their best to be there for her as she and her father tried to adjust to their new lives.

"No, it's fine," she brushed off his concern, "Plus, I'm eager to hear what everyone suggests," she lied with a smile on her face. Puck didn't buy it, but let it go. When they arrived the group was in the middle of a heated debate: Florence and the Machine versus Johnny Cash.

"Guys, guys, guys!" Mr. Schuester tried, "there are four slots, there's room for compromise." Everyone quieted down, conceding that he was right.

"Rachel, I'm glad you're hear, we wanted everyone to have a vote," her teacher informed her. Rachel bobbed her head up and down, but focused her eyes on the clock behind his head. Prior to Rachel's arrival, it had been decided that they would offer her the chance to sing a solo at Nationals. When Mr. Schuester asked the girl if she was up for it, she looked around the room at all the expectant eyes and, although reluctant, she accepted, on one condition: that she be given the third song. That way there was still the possibility that she wouldn't have to sing; they had to place top ten to move on to the second round in order to perform their last two songs.

Once class was over Puck waited for Rachel to pack up so that he could drive her to his place. Leroy was out of town on a business trip. Unlike his daughter, Leroy had thrown himself into his work, hoping to combat his guilt by focusing on an upcoming trial. He wasn't a bad father; he was just having a difficult time dealing with his grief and he didn't want to appear weak to his daughter. Ms. Puckerman had offered Rachel the guest room and although she tried to politely decline, she could tell that it wasn't a suggestion.

"Ma's working the late shift this week so we're ordering out. You feel like Chinese?" Puck asked as they made their way to his truck.

"Sure."

"K, call it in and after we pick Becca up we'll stop by Beijing Express." After Rachel called in their order, the ride to Becca's friend's house was pretty quiet. Puck tried to start up a conversation with the girl.

"Ready for Mrs. Harper's test tomorrow?"

"Yeah." That was a lie. Rachel hadn't opened her Art History book this entire week.

"That's good. I think this lessons pretty easy, I mean, there's a lot of architecture and less painting."

"Mmhm."

"You want to review with me tonight?"

"OK." Puck tried another approach.

"Congrats on your solo, by the way."

"Thank you."

"What's that song Kurt suggested for you?"

"Landscape." It was like pulling teeth, but Puck was use to it. Rachel hadn't been her normal chatty self for a while and even though she smiled a bit more and didn't break down crying (at least not in front of people).

"Who sings it again?"

"Florence Welsh."

"Right, that Dog Days chick." That got him a smile.

"Yes, she also sings that song." After that the conversation flowed a bit easier and once Becca was in the car Rachel made sure that all of the attention was focused on the eleven year old. Puck played along; he'd give Rachel all the time she needed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_She can't see the landscape anymore_

_It's all painted in her grief_

_All of her history etched out at her feet_

_Now all of the landscape, it's just an empty place_

_Acres of longing, mountains of tenderness_

_Cause she's just like the weather, can't hold her together_

_Born from dark water, daughter of the rain and snow_

Rachel's rehearsal is disrupted by a loud crash from backstage.

"Shit!" the mysterious intruder curses his clumsiness. Rachel walks over to her iHome and presses pause.

"Hello?" Rachel calls out, "is someone there?" She asks again when she receives no answer. Finally the dark quaff and gangly body Rachel has come to recognize as Bobby Ford steps out of the shadows.

For the past three weeks Rachel had been running into the freshman more and more. She doubted that all –if any – of these meetings were simply the result of chance. At first she was worried that she had new Jacob-esque "fan" on her hands, but Bobby proved to be harmless. He was always polite and their encounters were usually rather short due to his tendency to become too tongue tied to carry on much of a conversation. Still, Rachel couldn't help notice that the boy seemed desperate to tell her something, she thought of asking him about it a few times but she couldn't really bring herself to care.

"Hi, Rachel," Bobby greets awkwardly, rubbing his hand up and down the nape of his neck in embarrassment, "sorry, about the noise."

"That's OK, Bobby, the song wasn't sounding right anyway."

"It sounded good to me," the young man complimented. Rachel gives the obligatory smile and thanks him for his words. After a beat she asks if there was something he needed.

"Oh, um, not really. Uh I heard you usually practiced here on Wednesdays. I heard you were good" The old Rachel would have a gushed at the praise; new Rachel just felt exhausted.

"Yes, I'm waiting for Noah to finish his tutoring session." Upon hearing the older boy's name, Bobby became a bit uneasy.

"Puck?"

"Don't worry," she assured him, "he won't be done for another ten minutes or so." Not wanting to be around for the Mohawked-teen's arrival, the freshman decided to make his exit in his typical gracelessness.

"Well, I better be going so you could practice. Not that you need it or anything," he rambled, "I mean you're voice is awesome. Well obviously 'cuz you're like in glee where you gotta sing and yeah, so I'm gonna go. Bye Rach. Rachel. Bye." With that he hurriedly scampered off.

Once outside the auditorium doors, Bobby was accosted by an unfriendly looking Santana Lopez.

"Hey you, hold it," she ordered.

"Ummm."

"Shut up," she waved dismissively, "why are you stalking Berry?"

"I don't know what-"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" she interrupted, "I don't know what you're game is, but back off."

"I….I…just wanted to…I need to…She did something really amazing for me," he finally got out.

"What?"

"You're Doctor Lopez' daughter." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah," she replied suspiciously

"I'm Robert," he revealed.

When she didn't make the connection, he clarified, "I was his transplant patient." Her eyes widened.

"You got Rachel's dad's heart."

"Yeah and I'm trying to figure out how to thank her," Bobby explained desperately, as if he were relieved to have someone with whom he could share the burden of his mission with. Santana was not thrill to be this person.

"OK here's what we're going to do," she said, in a tone that would make Sue Sylvester proud, "you're going to keep your mouth shut for now. Capiche?" He bobbed his head energetically.

"Alright, now get out of here." As she watched the boy scurried away, a familiar voice came sounded from behind her.

"What was that about?" Puck asked adjusting his backpack on his left shoulder.

"Nothing," Santana replied as if uninterested with the conversation.

"Nothing my ass," he scoffed, "what's the frosh want to thank her for?"

"Nothing," she said again, "jeez, mind your own business."

"Why won't you tell me?" he pressed. _Ugh! Drop it. _

"Because its none of your business," she retorted.

"Oh but it's yours?" Santana turned to the boy and hoped that the sincere route would get her better results.

"Seriously, Puck, just drop it."

"You know something. Something big." Puck had learned through years of reinforcement that being annoyingly persistent would get anyone to crack (case and point: Ms. Puckerman).

"Come on tell me."

"That kid got Mr. Berry's heart."

Puck had nothing to say to that.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The drive to the Berry house was unusually quiet. Although Puck wasn't known for being verbose and since Hiram's passing Rachel had not been her loquacious self, the radio was usually turned on during the drive. The complete lack of noise coupled with Puck's white tight grip on the steering wheel had Rachel concerned.

"Is everything alright, Noah?"

"Huh?" Puck was drawn out of his thoughts, "Oh, yeah, sorry."

"Are you sure?"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brittany and Rachel were sitting in the choir room silently waiting for the rest of the club to filter in when the blonde turned to the short brunette and asked her, "Would you want to know who got your dad's heart?"

Up until know, everyone in the club had treaded as if on eggshells when they were around Rachel, blatantly ignoring any topic that would remind her of her father. Kurt and Puck were really the only ones who ever brought him up. She knew her friends didn't want to upset her and that no one ever really knows what to say to someone who has lost someone; most of what is said comes off as a platitude at best. However, Brittany just asked her a very hard question as if she were talking about the weather.

"Santana thinks you wouldn't," the cheerleader continued, "but I think hearing his heart beat would make you happy." At her expectant look Rachel tried to respond.

"I…I honestly don't know, Brittany." That seem to be a suitable answer for the taller girl, but before she dropped the subject she added her two cents.

"But it's like your dad is kind of still here. Like he's not all gone."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**A/N: Sorry my chapters are so short; I'm just letting the story go where it wants. **

**Also, ****JymeeDakis, thank you for sharing your story with me. I think Noah & the gleeks will do their best to be there for Rachel and you can definitely count on future pezberry.**

**And, as always, to everyone else who has reviewed/alerted/favorited, thank you it's always appreciated. **

**Oh and Lyrics used belong to Florence + the Machine – song is called Landscape (Demo). If you haven't already check it (and the rest of her songs) out. She's a genius. **


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

A week after their conversation outside the auditorium, Santana discretely approached the freshman as he changed his books between classes. "You can't contact Rachel," Santana's voice startled Bobby. The Cheerio's back was pressed against a neighboring locker and she kept her gaze focused on the passing students. "I looked it up. Donor recipients can't contact a donor's family, not without the family's consent."

Robert shook his head, "You don't understand. I can't just not thank her." He zipped up his backpack and shut the locker door. "It's not like I don't know who she is and you're asking me not to go looking. I've met her. I see her everyday. I see that sad look on her face." His voice implored the older girl to understand. "And you know…maybe it'll help, if she knew."

Santana abandoned her nonchalant pose and turned to face the blonde teen. "Well the rules are you can't contact her. Even if you could, it hasn't even been three months, she struggling just to get through the day." Bobby wasn't the only one who noticed that smiles had all but forsaken Rachel's face. "What happens if you tell her and it crushes her even more? Huh? You can't spring this on her just because you feel guilty."

"I don't feel guilty." That surprised the girl. "I feel grateful. You have no idea how grateful. I thought I was gonna die and now I get to live. I get to go to school. I get to snowboard. Hell, I get to clean my room. I got sick and her dad saved me. None of that makes me feel guilty. I want to tell her that I know her dad was a good man. I want to say thank you."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The glee kids were seated in the choir room listening to Kurt and Quinn's rendition of Lady Gaga's "You and I." Although the two didn't hang out much they were both aware that their voices resembled the blonde who was destined to become a pop culture icon so they decided to team up for the week's assignment. As the song came to a close, Mr. Schuester began to clap and he complimented the duo on their song choice. The two smiled appreciatively and returned to their seats.

"Okay, you guys," Mr. Schuester began, "I know we still have a month to go before we head to New York, but we really need to narrow down the second half of our set list."

Rachel wished she were anywhere else right now. Today was her dad's birthday. Every year she'd wake up early, forgoing her morning elliptical routine, and prepare a pancake with a happy face made out of whipped cream and berries. Then she and her daddy would sing "Birthday" by the Beatles with a little dance to go along with it. Today she woke up and as she made her way downstairs to the kitchen she heard her daddy's muffled sobs coming through the bedroom door. She lightly knocked on the door and cautiously poked her head in.

"Daddy?" The heartbroken man was lying down on his side of the bed, clinging to Hiram's pillow. When he heard the door open hurriedly sat up and he wiped his tears, but they kept on coming.

"Hi, sweetheart." Rachel made her way over to her father and took a seat next to him. They didn't say anything, just held hands. The minutes passed and Leroy continued to weep. Rachel didn't know what to do. There were no words to make it better. She decided that even though everything was wrong, even though everything was shit, it was still her dad's birthday and her dad loved his birthday song.

_You say it's your birthday_

_It's my birthday too, yeah_

It wasn't loud and full of joy.

_They say it's your birthday_

_We're gonna have a good time_

There was no choreography, no pancakes.

_I'm glad it's your birthday_

_Happy birthday to you._

There was just a girl and her father, clasping hands; trying to gain whatever strength they could from each other. When she finished the soft chorus, Leroy kissed her forehead.

"Thank you, Rachel." She nodded. "Why don't we go downstairs? I'll make us pancakes."

As the two Berrys sat over relatively untouched pancakes, Leroy told his daughter that if she didn't feel up to going to school today, he would have no problem calling the front office and letting them know she'd absent. She smiled sweetly and let him know that she would be okay, but she was now seriously regretting that decision. She was not okay. She was quite terrible actually. Before today she'd been doing better. She'd been smiling a bit more, crying a bit less, but ever since she walked into school everything and anything reminded her of her dad and it was starting to get to her.

"Rachel? Rachel? Rache1!" Mr. Schuester's voice intruded on her memory, bringing her back to the choir room. Everyone was staring at her with concerned eyes. She couldn't bring herself to feel embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Schuester."

"That's okay, Rachel. I just wanted to know if you agreed with the song choices." Not knowing what musical numbers the club had decided on in the case that they made it to the second round during Nationals, the petite brunette eagerly shook her head yes.

"I think they are fine choices, Mr. Schuester."

"Well that's great. Then it's unanimous; when-" he made sure to stress the _when _"-we make it to Nationals we'll open with _Here's to the Night_ by Ever 6 and close with Bowie's _Golden Years_." Rachel had never heard either song, but honestly the man could have announced that the team was going to sing something by Slayer and Rob Zombie and it still would not have registered.

With the matter settled, the choir director concluded practice, "Okay, I'll see you all next week. Have a great weekend everyone." The kids began packing their belongings, eager to start their weekends.

"You okay?" Puck asked as he waited for her to finish gathering her things. "Oh yes, fine." Not fine, terrible.

"So, uh, sorry to spring this on you, but I told Santana I could give her a ride home too. So we'll have to make a stop before I drop you off."

"Alright."

During the drive Rachel sat next to the window staring outside as Santana, who was seated in the middle, and Puck talked about what a bitch their Chem teach was. She doesn't know what prompted her to do it, but before Rachel could stop herself she cut in with a question that confused both teens seated in the front.

"Your father works at Lima General, correct?"

"Yeah," the Latina replied.

"What does he do?" Puck was confused as to what had sparked Rachel's sudden interest in Santana's home life.

"He's a doctor."

"What kind of doctor?" Santana didn't like where this was going.

"Surgeon," she deliberately kept her answer vague, but Rachel kept pushing.

"Be more specific."

"Cardiothoracic." Now Puck was on the same page as the other two occupants.

"You know who has my dad's heart." Puck had to keep himself from slamming on the breaks. Santana was able to keep her composure better than her male counterpart and decided that her best route was to feign ingmorance.

"What?"

"Brittany and I spoke yesterday. She said something that suggested that you knew. Now I'm sure of it: you know."

"Listen, Berry-"

"Who is it?"

XXXXXXXX

**Sorry about the delays between chapters. This story is hard. If anyone has any ideas please feel free to share. Also sorry that Bobby's dialogue sounded a bit Grey's Anatomy-ish. Also would anyone happen to know if the story "White Out" is available anywhere on the web. I know it's no longer on FF but I refuse to give up hope. **

**OK Thanks for reading! **


End file.
